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The Train Ride From Hell – PART 3

27 Feb

The Train Ride From Hell - PART 3

Hi everyone! I’m so happy many of you are enjoying my short Horror Series The Train Ride From Hell.  Today I’m posting Part 3 of the series. If you have not yet read Part 1 or Part 2 I suggest you read those first.  As always, I must warn you that this is a Horror story, so you may want to read it in daylight and/or with a buddy. Thank you!

The Train Ride From Hell – PART 3

by Vashti Quiroz-Vega

I shook my head from side to side. My lips trembled and waterfalls fell from my eyes.

 

“No–please! I didn’t know,” I pleaded. “You’re right, I never thought about the people in the men’s lives who I slept with. If I had known this would happen, I never would have done the things I did.”

 

“It’s too late now,” she whispered.

 

“No, no! I’m sorry. I will change my ways. From this moment on, I will always think of the consequences of my actions. I don’t want to go to hell!” I grabbed the girl by the shoulders again. “Please help me! I’m sorry about your mother. I didn’t know–I would have never had the affair with your father if I had known the consequences it would bring. I will never have another affair. I will respect the sanctity of marriage from now on. I swear!”

 

“It’s too late!” she cried and turned away. My eyes darted from one face to another of the passengers. Some were demons, but others were humans like me, waiting to be taken to the appropriate circle of hell. It was becoming hotter in the train. I was sweating. I was panting heavily, wringing my hands. There’s got to be a way out for me. This can’t be happening to me. I went back to the girl who had returned to her seat. My heart was pounding hard against my chest.

 

“Who brought me here?” I asked. She glanced at me. Her face was ashen and her lips trembled. “Who brought me here?” I insisted. “Maybe if I spoke to the person–or thing–that brought me here I can convince him that I’ve changed and don’t belong here.”

 

“I brought you here–when I killed you,” she hissed.

 

I stared at her dumbfounded. I’m dead? This can’t be true.

 

“I was overcome by grief when I found my mother. She had taken poison. The expression on her face told me it was neither a quick, nor a painless death. I will never forget the look on her face.”  She closed her eyes and released rain from under her eyelids. Then she glared at me.  “I had to make you pay. Now, I am on my way to the last circle of hell to burn for all eternity–with you.”  The look on her face was bleak. My body slumped. I felt hollow, except for the burning pain in my chest. She murdered me, yet I felt only pity for her. I was remorseful for all I had put her through.

 

The train stopped. The passengers did not willingly file out of the train anymore. Tall, sinewy, dark green monstrous creatures forced them to exit, kicking and screaming. Trembling, I inched my way to the opening and looked outside the train. I searched for a sign to tell me where the train had stopped. The sign read: Gluttony.

 

This was a muddy place, and it rained ceaselessly. The rain must have been freezing cold because the passengers that were forced out began to shiver almost immediately once they were outside the train. They were stripped of their clothes and tossed by the green monstrosities into a muddy pit.

 

The rancid, putrefied smell of this place penetrated through the invisible field that kept me inside the train. The ogres took pleasure in physically torturing the people. The people were also forced to wallow in the foul mud and eat mouthfuls of it while the green brutes urinated and defecated within it. It was a repugnant scene. My stomach ached, and I was nauseous. I retched time and time again, but released nothing.

I hurried back to my seat convinced I would not look outside at any of the other stops. I was bawling uncontrollably. I couldn’t imagine spending eternity in a place like this, but the thought of her suffering for all time perturbed me most. I had to do something, but what? What can I do?

covered_in_mud_The Train Ride From Hell

Muddy rain_The Train Ride From Hell

Comments are greatly appreciated.

24 Responses to “The Train Ride From Hell – PART 3”

  1. peternoahthomas February 27, 2014 at 12:47 pm #

    This is crazy good. i am not exaggerating. My goodness, depending on how long this ends up being, you could have a great novel or novella here. The suspense is so good.

    Like

    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega February 27, 2014 at 6:55 pm #

      Wow Peter, Thank you so much! You’re so awesome and encouraging! Having people like you reading my stuff is what it’s all about. 😀

      Like

  2. Karen February 27, 2014 at 1:11 pm #

    Awesome, Vashti!

    Like

  3. Manhattan Image and Style February 27, 2014 at 1:50 pm #

    This is SO GOOD!! I think I am addicted to your stories! 😉

    Diana
    http://www.ManhattanImageandStyle.com
    New Blog Post: [Health Tips] Stay Fit While You Sit

    Like

  4. Yolanda Isabel Regueira Marin February 27, 2014 at 3:06 pm #

    Great stuff I love the way you are compartmentalising the different aspects of human nature into the different areas of hell. Good work.

    Like

    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega February 27, 2014 at 6:42 pm #

      Thank you Yolanda! Inspiration from Dante’s Divine Comedy or the movie Se7en, I don’t know which. Ha,ha! I’m glad you’re enjoying it. 😀

      Like

  5. Michelle Stanley February 27, 2014 at 3:12 pm #

    It gets more exciting in every chapter. I like the names of the destinations and the images to match.

    Like

    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega February 27, 2014 at 6:39 pm #

      Hi Michelle! Thank you! It’s great that you’re enjoying the read. 😀

      Like

  6. Sunni Morris February 27, 2014 at 7:17 pm #

    Vashti,

    Wow! You’ve outdone yourself with this one! You really should write horror or suspence. You’re good at it and the surprise ending. Does she or doesn’t she end up in hell?

    Like

    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega February 27, 2014 at 9:56 pm #

      I’m so glad you think so Sunni! Aha! All questions will be answered in the final part, which will be posted on Tuesday! 😉

      Like

  7. Harliqueen February 28, 2014 at 5:35 am #

    Incredible! The suspense you built up in this is amazing. The way you described ‘Gluttony’ was so well written and unique! 🙂

    Like

  8. Teagan Kearney February 28, 2014 at 4:05 pm #

    You definitely keep the tension up, Vashti, with some great plot twists! I’ll be interested to see if what I think is going to happen actually does happen – or not!
    (I missed part 2, but I’m caught up now.)

    Like

    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega March 1, 2014 at 2:51 pm #

      Thank you Teag! Hmmm, now I want to know what you might be thinking. Ha,ha! You know great minds think alike. 😉

      Like

  9. sweetyshinde March 2, 2014 at 10:56 am #

    Good descriptions. I liked the pics too. Did you make the animations?

    Like

    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega March 2, 2014 at 3:28 pm #

      Hello! Thank you very much. No, I did not. If you click on the pictures will will go to their source. 🙂

      Like

  10. Sandra March 4, 2014 at 1:14 am #

    Thanks for linking up at The Four Seasons Blog Hop! Sandra from Scrumptilicious 3 You!

    Like

    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega March 4, 2014 at 12:13 pm #

      You’re welcome. It was my pleasure. Thank you for visiting. Stay a while and read. 😉

      Like

  11. April Grant (SpiritedLife) March 6, 2014 at 10:51 pm #

    You know, I love your work. I’ll have to check out the finale… since this is only Part 3. I hate the suspense so love to read it one swoop. I’ll leave a comment on the finale too! Thanks for sharing with Countdown in Style.

    Like

  12. Rat March 10, 2014 at 7:57 am #

    very descriptive narration and it hooks me so much.. on the way to the finale 🙂

    Like

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