The Train Ride From Hell – Finale

4 Mar

Happy Tuesday everyone and a warm welcome to my blog! Today I’m posting the fourth and final part of my short Horror series The Train Ride From Hell. I hope you enjoy the finale!

NOTE: You must read Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3 in order to follow and enjoy the finale.

WARNING: Do not read this series alone or in the dark.

The Train Ride From Hell – Finale

by Vashti Quiroz-Vega

“Why do you watch?” the girl asked with furrowed brow. I gazed at her, and this time I felt love for her. I didn’t want her to suffer any longer.


“I don’t know, but I will not look out again. You were right to stay in your seat.”


“I stay in my seat because I already know what is out there and where I will be going,” she said with her face tight barely able to hide her anger and pain.


“How do you know this?”


“That isn’t important.”


“Where are you going?”


“My stop is Violence. I committed violence against you…”


“I forgive you!” I spurted.  She smiled faintly at me.


“…and I committed violence against myself–when I slit my throat after stabbing you in the belly.”  My hands flew to my mouth, and I continued to sob.


“I’m so sorry for what I did to you–to your entire family. You don’t deserve to be here. You’re just a child who suffered greatly, and you were traumatized by your mother’s death. You deserve a second chance.”


“There are no second chances here. I will be transformed into a twisted thorny bush and fed upon by beautiful women with wings. They will resemble you so that I will always remember the face of my victim. Every bite these creatures take will be devastatingly painful to me. Every branch torn and every thorn plucked will cause me unbearable pain and suffering, but every branch and thorn will grow back so that my suffering may be infinite.”


“No!”  I couldn’t bear the thought of this. My heart was torn to pieces.  “I don’t want you to hurt anymore.”


“What we want is no longer pertinent.” I looked at her wretched little face. This was my fault entirely–this young girl’s suffering and her ghastly fate. I must somehow undo this!


I left my seat and ran up and down the aisles.


“Conductor! Where is the conductor? I must speak to him!” I yelled. Immediately,  I heard his voice behind me.


“What is it you must say to me?”


“Do you have the power to remove someone from this train and release them from their fate in hell?”


“I do not.”  My heart sank.  “However,” he continued, “the people on this train have the ability to save themselves.”  The creepy conductor breathed new life into me with his words, and I lifted my head high.


“Surely you do not believe you can save yourself?” he sniggered. “You are a greedy, self-absorbed woman!”


“I am not attempting to save myself. I deserve whatever comes to me, but there’s someone here that is innocent.”


“No one on this train is innocent,” said the conductor in a malicious tone.


The young girl approached the conductor and me and held onto my arm, but hid herself halfway behind me. Her hands were cold and trembling.


“This girl is innocent! Everything she did, I drove her to do it. She was traumatized and not in her right mind. She deserves another chance.” The conductor’s face altered, becoming still more hideous and wicked, and his irises became red balls of fire. I was frightened, but stood my ground.


“She is not wholly innocent!” he growled. I flinched and the young girl hid further behind me. I could hear her whimpering.


“I will gladly take whatever punishment was meant for her!”


“You have your own punishment to bear!”


“Then I will accept her punishment as well as mine! She has already suffered enough because of me. She doesn’t deserve to continue to be tormented for the things I’ve done! It is my turn to hurt. I will suffer on her behalf!” I meant every word with all my heart.


The conductor began to grow out of his uniform. His skin became rough and a fungus green. He grew thrice the size, his face so ugly it was painful to look upon. His chest heaved with each audible breath. His long burly fingers balled into tight fists. He growled, and long sharp horns exploded out of his head. He stared at me with his red eyes and snarled, showing me his large, razor-sharp teeth. I trembled and my teeth chattered uncontrollably. I screamed and sobbed as the heat radiated from the monster’s blazing hide, singing my skin. I turned to shield the girl from the inferno, and what I saw stunned me.


She was aglow.  Airy.  She looked radiant and happy.


“I have been forgiven. Thank you, this was your doing. I am going to a good place now.” With these words her ethereal body floated up and traveled through the train’s ceiling, disappearing from view. “Thank you!” I heard her say again from the distance. I took a deep breath, feeling relief. She was safe now and she would never suffer again. I gaped at the monster before me through squinted eyes.


“I’m ready to receive my punishment and hers. Take me to whatever nightmare awaits me.” My voice quavered, but I had made my point. The beast slouched forward and with a thunderous roar, lifted his claws to attack me. I could feel its incredible rage!



I opened my eyes. The pain was excruciating. Groans escaped my lips. I couldn’t move.


“Welcome back,” said a man wearing a white coat. I stared at him in awe.


“Can you speak?” he asked in a kind voice.


“Yes,” I croaked.


“You’re in St. Francis Hospital. You were involved in a serious automobile accident. Apparently you received a serious puncture wound in your abdomen during the crash. You’ve been in a coma for the last few weeks. We didn’t think you would make it, but in the last couple of days, your vitals began to stabilize. I believe you’re going to be alright now.”


I must have seemed crazy to the doctor as I began to simultaneously laugh and cry despite the pain. Yes, I will be all right now, and so will she.


Copyright © 2014 by Vashti Quiroz-Vega. All rights reserved.

girl in paradise

Photograph by Amanda-Diaz (DeviantART)

Leave a comment with your thoughts. ;D

32 Responses to “The Train Ride From Hell – Finale”

  1. Karen March 4, 2014 at 5:51 am #

    This is a great finale, Vashti! Awesome! *standing ovations* 🙂
    If she had acted differently in her coma-induced nightmare, the outcome might have changed as well? I remember Sylvia Kristel in ‘Alice or the Last Escapade’. In the end she needs to decide which door to open.
    ‘The Train Ride From Hell’ is considerably more impressive as the Alice movie (watched many years ago). The only ‘parallel’ I refer to is this question: ‘What if her decision had been different?’


    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega March 4, 2014 at 12:07 pm #

      Thank you Karen! You’re right, if her decision had been different her fate would have definitely been different as well. I actually had two different endings, but I decided (at the last minute) to go with the happy one. 😉 I’m so happy you enjoyed it!


      • Karen March 4, 2014 at 2:15 pm #

        This is an amazing story and I am very glad that I ‘detected’, read, and followed it right from the start. 🙂
        I am looking forward to your upcoming stories.


      • Vashti Quiroz-Vega March 4, 2014 at 8:57 pm #

        Thank you Karen. I’m glad too. I will work hard to keep you intrigued and entertained. 😀


  2. Harliqueen March 4, 2014 at 6:22 am #

    What a great final! I join Karen in a standing ovation 😀 Absolutely brilliant.


  3. rcprice March 4, 2014 at 11:55 am #

    Great story, Vashti!! Can’t wait for the next one.


    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega March 4, 2014 at 9:46 pm #

      Hi Robert! I’m glad you enjoyed it. Thank you! 🙂 I’ll start working on the next one. 😉


  4. Manhattan Image and Style March 4, 2014 at 2:05 pm #

    I love the finale! Awesome story! 🙂

    New Blog Post: [Outfit Idea] A Trendy Day


  5. Yolanda Isabel Regueira Marin March 4, 2014 at 2:47 pm #

    Good work Vashti. Nice build up and a happy ending … It should be made into a movie lol


    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega March 4, 2014 at 9:16 pm #

      Ha,ha! I want M. Night Shyamalan to be the director! 😉 Thank you Yolanda! 😀 xx


  6. teagankearney March 4, 2014 at 3:07 pm #

    A morally and emotionally satisfying ending, Vashti, well done. You wrote an enjoyable tale – if if I can say horror is enjoyable, so yes, more please!


    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega March 4, 2014 at 9:27 pm #

      I love horror so I’m glad you’re coming over to the dark side. Buah,ha,ha,ha! 😉 Just kidding! 😛 A lot of people have misconceptions about the horror genre. There are different kinds of horror. For instance I love Stephen King, but I can’t stand to read anything by Edward Lee–both horror writers. 😀


  7. Michelle Stanley March 4, 2014 at 4:33 pm #

    Awesome, Magnificent, and all similiar complimentary words to you, Vashti! The story is nicely descriptive and you captured the character emotions well. I love the ending. What a thrilling ride it has been. it makes one think twice about the sins committed and those wayward thoughts we often have.


    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega March 4, 2014 at 9:29 pm #

      Ha,ha! Thank you Michelle for sticking with me. I’m thrilled you enjoyed it. 😀


  8. Doreen Sargente March 4, 2014 at 10:00 pm #

    Bravo Vashti! Loved the ending! As always, you kept my interest and on edge wondering what would happen to her. Glad she’s ok 🙂


    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega March 4, 2014 at 10:24 pm #

      Hi Doreen! I’m so happy you enjoyed the series. Thank you for reading. Have a great night! 😀


  9. Heidi's Wanderings March 8, 2014 at 9:06 am #

    I really like the finale. Can’t wait to read some of your other writings. Visiting from Wake Up Wednesday Linky Party.


    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega March 8, 2014 at 1:39 pm #

      Hello Heidi! I’m so glad you enjoyed the finale. Take a look around I have many short stories here. It was my pleasure linking up with you gals. Thank you for visiting and reading. 😀


  10. Natasha @ Epic Mommy Adventures March 9, 2014 at 9:32 am #

    Wow! I love the finale! I’m sad to see it end, but I absolutely love the way that it did end. You are such a great writer, Vashti. I look forward to reading more of your writings. I always know that it will be a great read!


    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega March 9, 2014 at 11:02 am #

      Thank you Natasha! I appreciate you saying that so much. I’m happy that you enjoy my writing, and I will continue to work hard to create new and interesting stories. 😀


  11. Katherines Corner March 9, 2014 at 9:54 pm #

    well done, applause!!!! Thank you for sharing your sweet blog at the Thursday Favorite Things blog hop ♥


    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega March 10, 2014 at 1:03 am #

      Hi Katherine! Thank you (takes a bow) ha,ha! I appreciate you reading my story. I’m glad you enjoyed it. It was my pleasure linking up at the Thursday Favorite Things Blog Hop! 😀


  12. turnips 2 tangerines March 9, 2014 at 11:07 pm #

    Thanks so much for sharing with us on Four Seasons Blog Hop~ Lynn @ Turnips 2 Tangerines


  13. Rat March 10, 2014 at 8:07 am #

    Moral to be taken from this great story.. climax very well done! super-like , Vashti.. 🙂
    keep writing.. more power to you! 🙂


  14. April (@100LBC) March 14, 2014 at 3:58 pm #

    You know I started this at night and had to come back the next day to continue reading. You can truly send chills down my spine. This is a gory tale of good and second chances… I love it. Thank you for continuing to write for us. It helps me fulfill my book reading without picking up a book. LOL! Have a great weekend Vashti!


    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega March 14, 2014 at 4:26 pm #

      Hi April! It’s so great to know that you enjoyed the story. Thank you for reading and I hope to continue entertaining you with future stories. 😀 Ha,ha! Have a great weekend too!


  15. Ashwin March 17, 2014 at 1:18 pm #

    Wow! I was completely blown away with the ending. Excellent twist! I guessed it to be a dream but you turned my guess into a completely unexpected one.
    Excellently written, Vashti. I enjoyed each and every line that you’ve written.



    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega March 19, 2014 at 7:54 pm #

      Hi Ashwin! I’m so glad I was able to surprise you this time. 😉 Ha,ha! Thank you very much. I love getting great feedback from other writers I admire. 😀



  1. Meandering Monday #37 | Epic Mommy Adventures - March 9, 2014

    […] favorite post came from Vashti Q Vega’s Blog with the post “The Train Ride From Hell – Finale“! Saying, “I just love this series by Vashti. She is an awesome writer and knows how to […]


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