As some of you know, my father is very sick. People tell me to enjoy him while I still have him, but I can’t help thinking of what it will be like when he’s no longer around. He isn’t the man he was a few years ago so I feel like I’m already losing him. We used to watch the history and Discovery channels together and spend hours discussing what we had seen. We can’t do that anymore. We both read Angels and Demons and The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown at the same time, and we had a great time talking about what we’d read on a daily basis. Those days are gone. Now, Father’s Day is around the corner and we won’t be able to have a picnic on the beach or go to the theater, but you know what? I’m not going to be sad on Father’s Day because we’re going to have a great time together. I’m done wallowing in negativity. I’m going to enjoy the time we have together. He may not be the same man he once was, but he is still my father, and I still love him very much.
I wrote this poem about a year ago, but I would like to share it with all of you again.
Father
by Vashti Quiroz-Vega
♥
His brown eyes deepened into polished onyx, and upon them came a mist of tears.
He watched with the facade of a brave man as his baby boy entered the world.
As if his mind and body were not consumed by overwhelming fears.
What are my duties? There are no guidelines. Where do I start?
The babe in his arms felt so natural, yet so alien. A fire blazed in his chest.
“You are a father now.” The words were jolting, yet pleasing to his heart.
His brown eyes deepened into polished onyx, and upon them came a mist of tears.
He watched with the façade of a calm man as his son toddled, taking his first steps.
As if his mind and body were not consumed by overwhelming fears.
What if he falls? What if he hurts himself? Then I would have failed as a father.
The toddler tottered to him and embraced his dad with dulcet giggles.
As he held his son, it did not feel alien. His heart gave way for love to conquer.
His brown eyes deepened into polished onyx, and upon them came a mist of tears.
He watched with the façade of a cool man as his son introduced him to his first girl.
As if his mind and body were not consumed by overwhelming fears.
What if he falls in love? What if she breaks his heart?
He embraced his son and slipped extra cash in his pocket.
As he held his son, it felt like love, and he rested assured his son was smart.
His brown eyes deepened into polished onyx, and upon them came a mist of tears.
He watched with the façade of a brave man as his son grew and had sons of his own.
As if his mind and body were not consumed by overwhelming fears.
Did I raise him right? Did I teach him to be a good husband and father?
He embraced his son, and they were swathed by the love they both felt.
As he held his son, his questions were answered, and he grew calmer.
His son’s brown eyes deepened into polished onyx, and upon them came a mist of tears.
He watched his father wear the façade of a spent man as he lay on a hospital bed.
His son’s mind and body were consumed by overwhelming fears.
Am I doing the right thing? Who am I to decide when his time has come?
His face dampened with sorrow as he embraced his father.
As he held his father’s weary body and gazed into his dimming eyes, his questions were answered, and he grew calmer.
His brown eyes deepen into polished onyx, and upon them comes a mist of tears.
He watches with the façade of a pitiful man as his son reaches for that plug.
He is ready to leave this world and grateful his son has let go of his fears.
As his son holds his ruined body, and he feels the lifeblood drain from his eyes, he knows he has raised him right.
His mind and body are consumed with overwhelming love.
His son has given him the gift of peace, and his happy spirit travels toward the light.
Copyright © 2014 by Vashti Quiroz-Vega. All rights reserved.
*Dealing with a very sick parent or the death of a parent is difficult, painful and sad. It may feel as if the loss of your dad or mom has taken away the person you are inside, has removed a piece of yourself that was integral to making you the person you are. Here are some links to start working through your pain and sadness.
Helping yourself As You Cope With The Loss Of A Parent
A Daughter Losing Her Father: Six Months Later
How are you celebrating Father’s Day?
The Writer Next Door | Vashti Q 
Such a personal post Vashti … I can feel your sadness, it is palpable. I wish that we were closer and I could give you a big hug. Being very much like my father and having lost him I can tell you that you need to spend as much time with him as you can and tell him everything you need to … do not leave words left unsaid. The poem is beautiful … I hope you have shared it with him xx
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Hello Yolanda, I wish we lived closer too, but thank you for the virtual hugs, I’ll take them. 🙂 xx I love your advice, ‘do not leave words left unsaid.’ I’m definitely going to do that. Thank you my friend. ❤
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Such a beautiful and heartfelt poem and post, Vashti! Sending you many hugs and prayers for both of you. Always remember that you will always have those cherished memories and hold them close to your heart. My father passed, many years ago, almost 18 years ago to be exact and though we were not overly close, I do have a few very fond and cherished memories that I keep close. Hugs and many blessings to you, my friend! XOXO
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Hi Stacey! Thank you so much for your beautiful words. I have many pictures of my dad and I’ve collected several things like a recording of him singing and a video of him playing a part in a church play. I’ll cherish these things and I’ll make sure no one forgets him. Thank you for the hugs and prayers. Big hugs and kisses for you! 😀 xx
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I’m truly sorry to hear about your father Vashti and hope there’s a recovery soon. Perhaps you’ll be able to enjoy a belated Father’s Day picnic then.
Your poem was beautiful.
I am going out for lunch on Sunday with my daughter, son-in-law, grandson and two nieces who lost their father some years ago. I’ll be thinking of you.
xxx Massive Hugs xxxx
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Hello David. Thank you very much for your kind words. I’m happy you enjoyed my poem. Have an awesome day on Sunday with your family (and be sure to post about it 😉 ). I want to see pictures! Huge bear hugs for you! 🙂 Happy Father’s Day!
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Dealing with the loss of those we love is one of life’s most difficult tasks. We may have more than one lover, partner and friend, but we only ever have one father and one mother. My experience of the death of loved ones is that although you do learn to live without them, you never stop loving them.
I hope your father is at least peaceful and not in pain. As Yolanda says, don’t leave anything you want to say to him unsaid.
I love how your poem expresses the cycle of life – the truth is none of us are exempt from death’s embrace. xx
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Hello Teagan, you are always so wise and insightful. I love reading your comments. You’re right, I lost my grandmother years ago, but I still remember and love her very much. Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed the poem. It means a lot coming from you. 🙂 xx
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Much Respect, Much Love, and Much Prayer to you
Ronovan
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Thank you Ronovan. I appreciate the love and prayers. 🙂 xx
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My prayers are with you, Vashti. God Bless.
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Thank you Robert. 🙂 xx Have a wonderful Father’s Day!
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Beautiful tribute to fathers everywhere. I hope your father’s health improves. No on in the world loves us the way our daddy’s do.
“Never could I expect to be so truly beloved and important; so always first and always right in any man’s eyes as I am in my father’s” – Jane Austen in Emma.
**HUGS**
-Tanya
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Thank you Tanya! I love that quote, it’s beautiful! 😀 xx
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Oh Vashti, such beautiful words. I can feel the pain in your words. Huge, huge hugs to you from Scotland xxx p.s here Anytime sweetie x
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Hello Alana, I know you’re always there for me. You’re such a sweet and kind soul. Thank you for being you. ❤ Big hugs and kisses for you and the boys. Happy Father's Day to your hubby. You guys have a great day! 🙂 xx
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Thanks sweets, always here. xxx
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❤
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*Hugs!* My grandfather was like another dad to me, and he passed away a couple of years ago. While a part of it was making the most of the time we did have, another part of it is knowing how much of him is in me – and in that way he still lives on, through me.
Just a thought 🙂 xx
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Wow Zee! Beautiful words! Thank you! 😀 xx
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Breathtaking poem Vashti, just beautiful. I am so sorry to hear that your father is ill. You just never grow out of being Daddy’s Little Girl. May you make wonderful memories with him this weekend that will continue to bring you smiles for a lifetime.
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Hi Carrie! Thank you. I’m happy that you enjoyed the poem. We all know about the circle of life, and we all know how we’re going to grow up and get older and in turn so will our parents. We all know this has to happen, but when the time comes we’re never prepared for it. Thank you for the kind words. You have a great Father’s Day weekend too! 🙂
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Thanks for sharing and posting to the #WWDParty.
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Hello! It is always my pleasure. Thank you guys for hosting. 🙂
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This was a really honest and heartfelt post, a great post for father’s day 🙂
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Hello. Thank you. 🙂
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Thank you for this passionate post, Vashti. The Mothers/Fathers Days are challenging for me, too; this being my first year without parents. What I can say is that when your parent is very sick these Days are very difficult, and when they are gone it is also sad; but at least when they are gone you don’t have to bear your parents’ pain and discomfort. I wish you the best….
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Hello Jet, thank you very much for the visit and the kind words. I’m sorry to hear about your parents. I could only imagine how hard it must have been for you. Thanks again. 🙂
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That’s very kind, thank you Vashti. 🙂
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Hugs to you.
Thanks for joining the Link Up this week!
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Thanks Jess. xx
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I am so sorry to hear your father is ill. I went through this many years ago and it just breaks your heart to watch the person you love go through something so painful and devastating. I am glad you were determined to enjoy Father’s Day and give sadness a rest. Your poem is beautiful. Thanks for sharing on Four Seasons.
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Thank you Terri. My dad and I enjoyed Father’s Day together with the rest of our family. He was happy to be surrounded by all his loved ones. It was a great day. As usual it was my pleasure to link up with you. 😀
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Hi Vashti – Thanks so much for sharing with the Let’s Get Real Party. I am so sorry to hear about your father’s illness. My father died many years ago, but I was fortunate to have my mother until this past December. Although she was in and out of the hospital much of last year, we were still able to enjoy a lot of good times together. I am thankful for those memories. I see from your response to the comments that you did have a good Father’s Day with your dad, and I am thankful for that.
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Hello Gaye, you’re very welcome it was my pleasure. Yes, we did have a great Father’s Day together. He was surrounded by love and he was smiling and laughing the whole time. Thank you for the kind words. 🙂 xx
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Vashti I am so sorry to hear that your father is in failing health. Your poem is beautiful and so heartfelt. I am glad that you enjoyed a good father’s day with him. Many Blessings.
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Hello Annette, I am so happy to hear from you. Yes, we enjoyed Father’s Day together. He was happy being with most of his kids and grandkids. He looked genuinely happy and at peace so that made it a really awesome day. Thanks for visiting and for the kind words. I hope all is well for you and you’re having a good week. ❤
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WOW. Thank YOU for sharing. My dad died of a heart attack. Not sure what is worse, having your hero suddenly ripped away or watching the strong man in your memories slowly grow weak. Amazing poem♡
Like climbing inside your heart.
xo
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Hello Diane. Thank you. That is a tough one––I don’t know which is worse either. All I know is that this is tough. I’m happy you enjoyed the poem. Thank you ❤
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Feeling your pain, Vashti. I lost my father 15 years ago and I still get the feeling that his attention hovers over me. Tell your Dad you love him, there are some words you will never regret.
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Hello Sweety, thank you and you’re right I tell my father that I love him every chance I get. 🙂
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Vashti,
What a beautiful poem and post. I’m so sorry to hear about your Dad. I’ve been there and it’s a had part of life to go through. Your parents are part of you, like no other. Bless you and him and your family to be strong and treasure these last memories with him.
Hugs my friend,
Wanda Ann @ Memories by the Mile
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Hello Wanda Ann, thank you so much for the good wishes. *Hugs & Kisses*
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Reblogged this on opportunitiesforwomen and commented:
will my dad still be around on father’s day?
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