Short Story – The Cursed Tree (Part 2)

23 Jul

The cursed tree

Hello! This is the 2nd installment of my short story series The Cursed Tree. Be sure to read Part 1 if you have not already done so. I appreciate any feedback left in the comment section below. Thank you!

 



The Cursed Tree

by Vashti Quiroz-Vega

 

Cain gulped air and stared at the tree, openmouthed. “No! I cannot kill my brother!”

 

“Why not?” the tree asked. “You are much stronger than he is.” Cain knitted his eyebrows in thought.

 

“I-I jjust cannot kill my brother.”

 

“You have never killed, but your brother has killed many times,” the tree said. “Every time he sacrifices a lamb or a goat, he kills.”

 

“This is true, but it is not the same.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because taking my brother’s life is taking a human life.”

 

“A life is a life! Why did you protect me so if you did not hold this to be true?” Cain pondered the tree’s words. “If your brother Abel can take a life, then so can you.”

 

Cain jumped to his feet, nodding. He stared ahead––his blue eyes glittering with the prospect of revenge.

 

“Sacrifice your brother Abel so that you may walk in the light,” the tree said. “Once Abel is gone, you shall grow mighty in your father’s eyes.”

 

Without another word Cain rushed to find his brother. He found him on a nearby hill tending after his sheep.

 

“Brother!” Cain called.

 

“I am here, my brother, among the sheep,” Abel said, his long, golden hair a mess and flapping in the wind.

 

“You are always among the sheep. It is no wonder you smell like one,” Cain said with a mischievous expression. Abel chuckled until he saw that Cain held a large rock in his powerful hand. Abel looked at Cain’s face, then at the rock, and then at Cain’s face again.

 

“That is a large, menacing rock you carry, my brother, “ Abel said in a tremulous voice. “What do you intend to do with it?”

 

Cain gripped the rock until his knuckles turned white. He clenched his jaw and flared his nostrils.

 

Abel, who sat on the ground, jumped to his feet. He stared at Cain with wide eyes and took a step back.

 

Cain narrowed his eyes. He stared into Abel’s hooded russet eyes, looked at his messy hair and his sun-kissed honey locust skin. He puffed and slammed the rock on the ground. “What do you know of fear?” Cain said, turned and ran away.

 

Cain ran all the way back to the tree.

 

“I could not do it,” he said breathless. “I hate him. He is my brother, and I hate the air he breathes, but I cannot kill him.”

 

“Do you remember the promise I made to you, Cain?” the tree asked.

 

“You had promised to someday bear extraordinary fruit just for me,” Cain said. “What has this to do with my current situation?”

 

“Have you noticed the small flowers that have grown on my branches?”

 

“I have. Apologies, I have been meaning to compliment you on those, but so much has happened that . . .”

 

“Apologies are not necessary. I only mention them because in four weeks time a fruit will grow amidst each bloom. A remarkable fruit.”

 

“Remarkable in what way?”

 

“You bring your brother Abel to me in four weeks time, and have him taste my fruit. One bite will accomplish what you could not.”

 

Copyright © 2014 by Vashti Quiroz-Vega. All rights reserved.

 

 

The Cursed Tree

How did you like the 2nd installment of The Cursed Tree? Please let me know in the comments below. Thank you!

26 Responses to “Short Story – The Cursed Tree (Part 2)”

  1. coldhandboyack July 23, 2014 at 10:30 am #

    I’m enjoying it. It seems to have a nice spin from the classic version.

    Like

  2. davidprosser July 23, 2014 at 11:10 am #

    You have the tension building nicely.

    Like

  3. rohit July 23, 2014 at 1:39 pm #

    i am hoping for a juicy twist!

    Like

  4. Karen July 23, 2014 at 2:12 pm #

    Awesome, Vashti! You know what it takes to hook your readers.

    Like

  5. peternoahthomas July 23, 2014 at 3:09 pm #

    I love this. Nice tension and that menacing, evil, silver tongued tree. LOL I can’t wait for the next installment.

    Like

  6. Teagan Kearney July 23, 2014 at 4:03 pm #

    I missed part 1 (though I’ve caught up), but wish I’d waited till you’d published part 3, because I hate waiting to find out what will happen! Great twist on the story, and love the rising tension at the end of each part. You’re a born storyteller, Vashti!

    Like

    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega July 24, 2014 at 5:32 pm #

      Hi Teagan! Ha, ha! It’s funny because I’m the same way. Thank you so much. 😀

      Like

  7. Becki July 23, 2014 at 5:02 pm #

    This is cool. I’m enjoying the story. Thanks for sharing with us. I love the creative spin you’re doing on this ancient tale. 🙂

    Like

    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega July 24, 2014 at 5:55 pm #

      Hi Becky! That’s awesome, I’m so glad you’re enjoying the story. Thank you!

      Like

  8. Yolanda Isabel Regueira Marin July 23, 2014 at 11:33 pm #

    Oooooh … getting very dark bring on Part 3

    Like

  9. rohit July 24, 2014 at 11:31 am #

    sure thing

    Like

  10. mihrank July 25, 2014 at 1:17 am #

    amazing – there are no words to express my sincerest gratitude for such creative story. Bravo!

    Like

    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega July 25, 2014 at 12:49 pm #

      Thank you so much Mihran. I’m honored that you enjoyed my story. 🙂

      Like

      • mihrank July 25, 2014 at 9:00 pm #

        The pleasure is mine. Always you bring such great articles!

        Like

  11. Tiny July 27, 2014 at 5:03 pm #

    Very creative second instalment! Looking forward to the next.

    Like

    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega July 27, 2014 at 9:35 pm #

      Thank you very much, Tiny. I will post the 3rd, and final installment on Wednesday. I’m happy you’re enjoying the short story. 😀

      Like

  12. April (@100LBC) July 31, 2014 at 10:31 am #

    A reiteration of the Adam and Eve story playing out in their children. Creative. I can’t wait to read the end.

    ~~April~~
    Creative Style Link Up

    Like

    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega July 31, 2014 at 11:00 am #

      Interesting interpretation, April! I meant it as the story of Cain and Abel, but I could see where you’re coming from since I use the tree as my main character. Instead of the snake in the tree, in the Garden of Eden, that tempted Eve to eat the fruit, it’s the cursed tree, in Cain’s garden, that now tempts Cain to kill his brother. Brilliant, how you put everything together. You’re great with details! 😀

      Like

  13. Sunni Morris August 14, 2014 at 3:05 pm #

    Getting very interesting. The tree is putting evil thoughts into Cain’s head, or rather reenforcing the thoughts that are already there. Nice hanging ending.

    Like

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