Hello, everyone! Welcome.
I have a friend who is intelligent, kind and beautiful. Despite having these great qualities, among others, she has a low self-esteem. She often berates herself, and she can’t take a compliment to save her life. This saddens me, because her low self-esteem holds her back from achieving certain goals and living a good life.
Her issues with low self-esteem stems from her childhood. She grew up with a verbally abusive father who called her names like stupid (although she was a straight “A” student), idiot, dimwit . . . whenever she made a mistake as a child. His name-calling escalated to profanity and it would happen for the smallest things, from spilling milk to wrinkling her dress. The silliest things would set him off.
Now she’s an adult, she has a great career, husband, wonderful kids, a beautiful home. She’s made a great life for herself, but whenever she makes the tiniest of mistakes, her father’s voice is in her head calling her names and making her feel like garbage.
I’m happy to say that she’s seeing a therapist for this problem, and she has told me that things are much better. She has no idea how strong she’s been all her life.
Many people believe that words are just words, but they are so much more. Words have driven many to alcohol, drugs, excessive eating, depression and even suicide. Words have a lasting impact, especially those said to a child.
Be careful how you talk to others, whether it be your spouse, children, friends, employees or coworkers. Berating someone is no way to teach or communicate. If you speak to someone with kindness, respect and consideration, they’re more apt to listen and comply.
Be smart in the way you communicate with others and yourself, because there are consequences, not only to our actions, but also to the words that come out of our mouths.
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I wrote two haiku today. I decided to use more the feel of the words rather than the actual words. Truth for “Faith”, which is what these haiku portray, and the lack of choice someone with low self-esteem may believe they have.
Choice and Faith are this week’s prompt words chosen by Ronovan Hester of Ronovan Writes.
Ron hosts a challenge that anyone could participate in called Ronovan Writes Weekly Haiku Poetry Prompt Challenge every Monday, and you have until Sunday to create a post featuring your haiku poem. He is an author and poet and also does author interviews and much more on his blog. Be sure to check it out. Read Ron’s Haiku Prompt Challenge Guidelines for more information.
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You can tell me I
am beautiful but, I will
never believe you.
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If you tell me I
am good for nothing, I will
always believe you.
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Excellent, Vashti. I hope it works.
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Me too, John. At least for one person. 🙂 xx
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🙂
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Words have immense power, and thus we must use them carefully. Otherwise, we shoulder their weight through guilt. Thank you for this reminder. The images and your verse make a powerful statement. 🙂
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I agree, Gwen. Beautifully put, as usual. But I feel that out guilt is the least of the problem. Thank you! I’m happy you liked the haikus and pictures. 😀 xx
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I agree Vashti, words reverberate around us even if we try to shield our ears with the best of appreciation for ourselves. Some words hurt worse than daggers. Let everyone choose their words wisely. Both haiku are beautiful. Have a nice weekend.
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Hello Balroop! Your words are always wise and insightful, my friend. I know you’ve also written of this subject on your blog. Thank you! You have a great weekend too. 😀 xx
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I’ve gone through what your friend has myself. So lovingly written!
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Thank you very much! I’m sorry you also had to endure this. I hope you’re recovering okay. All the best!
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Oh Yes! By God’s grace I know my worth!
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Yay! That’s wonderful! ❤ Good for you!
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Reblogged this on DENIS LEVIEUX PHOTOGRAPHE INFOGRAPHISTE.
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Thanks for the reblog! 😀
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Words are powerful. I would rather use them to raise someone up, than to bring them down. Great post, Vashti.
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That’s wonderful of you to say, Michelle. I feel the same. Who knows how many people’s lives we can improve, simply by saying a few kind words. We don’t have to lie or make stuff up, either. There’s always something good one can say about another person. 😀 xx
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Beautifully said Vashti, these childhood experiences can have a long-lasting impact and I am glad your friend is receiving additional help to overcome this 💜 xxx
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Thank you very much! 😀 I’m very happy she’s getting help too. Have a great weekend! ❤ xx
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BOOM! Arrow, right through the heart, here. Thank goodness, there are people who are trained to help us release the voices of our past… ❤
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You can say that again! Some things we just can’t do on our own. I’m happy you liked the post, my friend! Have a great weekend! ❤ xx
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Great post, Vashti. Words have power and too many people abuse that power.
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You’re absolutely right, Trent! The way I’ve heard some people talk to children is heartbreaking and many believe their kids will simply forget––they won’t.
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Very powerful, Vashti, and certainly true. We should all be aware of what comes out of our mouths. Words can hurt people more than physical pain. Injuries will heal, but words leave lasting scars.
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Hi Sunni! That’s so true. With everything that’s been happening in the world today, you would think people would be aware of this by now. Thank you, my friend!
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Very true Vashti! Thank you for writing about the power of words.
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Hi Denise! We as writers understand the power of words but many people still don’t get it. Thank you! 🙂
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Vashti, I feel for your friend and all the hurt she has endured as young. The power and impact of words is immense and the accumulation of such verbal abuse is terrible, settling in ones very being. I hope she can celebrate the steps in her life, the love of her family and friends at work and home. With you by her side she has a wonderful force for good! Your haiku is amazing, all too often true!
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Hello Annika! Thank you for the kind and caring words, my friend. I’m happy you liked the haiku and you’re right, too many people will relate to this situation. ❤
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Powerful post Vashti. All you mentioned about self-esteem is exactly what I talk about in my book, Words We Carry. Those voices of condemnation are never very far away in our minds. I’m so glad your friend has a happy life and is getting help for the damage of her past ❤
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Hi Debby! I know this is a subject that you write about in your books and blog. I’m glad you’re creating awareness, because you’d be surprised how many people still think they can say what they want to their kids, spouses, employees . . . without any consequence. Verbal, sexual, elderly, animal and child abuse, along with depression are subjects I like to bring up on my blog every so often, because raising awareness of something, is one of the first steps we can take, to put an end to a problem. I’m happy for my friend also. She’s a strong woman and I know she’ll get better with time. Thank you very much! ❤ xx
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Beautifully stated Vashti – probably part of our connection, 🙂 ❤
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I think so too. ❤ xx
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this is impressive, great reflection and practical
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Thank you, Mino! 😀
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People tend to undermine the power of words. Verbal abuse is real and extremely harmful. I’m happy that your friend is working through those years, and I’m happy that you are bringing attention to the ramifications of verbal abuse.
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You’re right, people continue to undermine the power that words have over us. As writers, we understand, but we need to let others know. Even the negative words we tell ourselves are harmful. Thank you so much, my friend. ❤ xx
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Beautifully said, Vashti! I hope your dear friend finds true inner peace. You’re a fabulous friend. XO
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Hi Natalie! I think she’s well on her way. Aw, I think you’re a wonderful person too. ❤ xx
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That’s so wonderful to hear! 🙂 Hope you enjoy a fabulous weekend. XO
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Thank you! You have a great weekend too!
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Oh, the power words can have over our mind. This is a beautiful post, Vashti.
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Hello Jill! If only more people understood the power of words. Thank you! ❤
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