Poetry Friday ~ It’s time to check your “virginity” again.

8 Nov

Hello, everyone! Welcome.

Have you heard about rapper T.I.’s podcast interview in which he revealed that he checks his daughter’s virginity? I saw this on TV, but it’s all over the internet. In case you haven’t heard, this is the gist of it: Grammy-winning rapper T.I. (Clifford Harris) told a podcast that he forces his teenage daughter to undergo an annual virginity test at the Gynecologist. The day after her birthday, he takes her to get her hymen checked to ensure that she’s still a virgin.

To say I was outraged by this is an understatement. Firstly, how backward and ignorant do you have to be? Having sex isn’t the only way a hymen gets torn. It can happen in many different ways. Secondly, what lessons is he teaching his daughter? That she’s only worthwhile if she’s a virgin? Her entire worth as a woman is based on her virginity status? Her word has no meaning because instead of asking her if she’s sexually active and trusting in what she tells you, you need medical proof? Why doesn’t he make her wear a chastity belt?

As if this yearly ritual wasn’t humiliating enough, he revealed everything on a podcast heard by thousands of people. His daughter is eighteen. Even if you don’t know who rapper T.I. is or listen to his music, you need to know that this goes on right here in the USA. And you know what? Even if you’re a fan, you have to admit this is insane.

To top it off, T.I. has a fifteen-year-old son who disclosed that he’s sexually active, and the rapper is fine with it. What? It’s okay for his fifteen-year-old son to have sex, but his eighteen-year-old daughter has to prove her virginity by going to a gynecologist and getting her hymen checked? This is a huge double standard, and I can’t stand it.

I guess T.I. doesn’t care if his son impregnates several girls his daughter’s age or younger, and either he doesn’t know or care about all the sexually transmitted diseases his son could easily catch. Why can’t this man talk to and educate his children, so that they can learn to make the right decisions on their own?

I understand some fathers are overprotective with their daughters, but in my opinion, this is going too far. Deyja Harris is T.I.’s daughter, not his property. And his fifteen-year-old son is in danger of contracting aids, herpes, hepatitis, among other diseases – not to mention getting someone pregnant.

What is your opinion on this subject?

“It’s the first of the month, and you know what that means! Poets choose your own prompt words.” Colleen’s 2019 Weekly Poetry Challenge No. 152

A
woman
who speaks her
mind is not a
bitch. She doesn’t need
men to validate her.
She’s not his sex toy or a
baby machine. She’s who she wants
to be. Society won’t make a
puppet of her, because she’s a woman.

Thanks for the visit. Please, let me know what you think in the comment section below.

56 Responses to “Poetry Friday ~ It’s time to check your “virginity” again.”

  1. Annette Rochelle Aben November 8, 2019 at 11:45 am #

    Hig five, sister!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Vashti Q November 8, 2019 at 12:13 pm #

      Ha, ha. Thank you, my friend! Have a great Friday and weekend. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Writing to Freedom November 8, 2019 at 12:01 pm #

    It’s back to the dark ages. yuck.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Vashti Q November 8, 2019 at 12:16 pm #

      I completely agree, Brad. It seems his actions are from another time––way back. 🙂 Happy Friday and weekend!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. robbiesinspiration November 8, 2019 at 12:06 pm #

    That is really rather weird, Vashti. Your poem is excellent.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Vashti Q November 8, 2019 at 12:18 pm #

      I’m happy you agree, Robbie. I’m shocked someone would behave that way in this day and age. Thank you! I’m thrilled that you enjoyed my Etheree. Have a lovely day and weekend! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  4. tidalscribe November 8, 2019 at 12:36 pm #

    Yes, totally weird – if we didn’t know it is nature we would wonder if men had invented the hymen! I know for sure that your hymen can be torn in other ways due to a nasty accident on my bicycle when I was eight! – Of course I didn’t understand what had happened but it involved lots of blood and my mother realising what had happened!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Vashti Q November 8, 2019 at 3:19 pm #

      I’m sorry that happened to you. I have a cousin who had something similar happen to her around that age. I think she was nine. When parents try to have that much control over their kids it tends to backfire. Thank you for visiting and sharing your story. Have a great day and weekend! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  5. balroop2013 November 8, 2019 at 1:08 pm #

    What? I am shocked to hear that! Such people keep the “puppet culture” alive!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Vashti Q November 8, 2019 at 3:22 pm #

      “Puppet culture,” I love that! I agree 100%. It’s sad. Thank you, my friend! Have a great weekend! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  6. John W. Howell November 8, 2019 at 1:13 pm #

    Everyone hearing this should be disgusted enough to quit buying and playing his music. He makes Neanderthal look enlightened.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. trentpmcd November 8, 2019 at 2:12 pm #

    I vote for the chastity belt, only we’ll make T.I. wear it, not his daughter 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Jacquie Biggar November 8, 2019 at 2:18 pm #

    All I can say is thanks goodness she’s eighteen and can get the heck out of there- though he’s probably scarred her for life 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    • Vashti Q November 8, 2019 at 3:37 pm #

      Well, that’s true, but will she leave? Her father is famous and has all the money. If he doesn’t want her to leave she probably won’t. 😦 Hopefully, she’ll get some therapy and her father will learn after this experience because everyone hates him, right now.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. olganm November 8, 2019 at 2:19 pm #

    This is bullying and abuse, surely. There are people who shouldn’t have children. Poor girl. And as you say, Vashti, he isn’t doing a great job with his son either. Great poem though. Enjoy your weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Vashti Q November 8, 2019 at 3:53 pm #

      Hi, Olga. You’re right. You need a license to drive a car, to catch a fish or hunt, but anyone can have a child. Oh well. I’m happy you liked the poem. Thank you. Have a delightful weekend! ❤

      Like

  10. coldhandboyack November 8, 2019 at 2:52 pm #

    This is just batshit crazy. I’m with Jacquie and now that she’s 18, she can move away from this. I don’t blame you for being upset.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Vashti Q November 8, 2019 at 3:57 pm #

      Yes! I hope she does leave. I’m hoping he learned a lesson from all this. Thank you, my friend. Have a happy Friday and weekend! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Soooz November 8, 2019 at 3:40 pm #

    Horrified doesn’t even come close! I am outraged. Thank you for bringing this moron to our attention. We all need to speak out and make our collective voices heard. I’m still shaking my head in dismay. It was Edmund Burke (I believe) who said “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” Thanks for being one of the good guys, my friend.👍

    Liked by 1 person

    • Vashti Q November 8, 2019 at 4:04 pm #

      Hi, Soooz! I know exactly how you feel, girl. I love that quote. It’s so true. There are plenty of people outraged by this and are speaking out about it. Hopefully, T.I. will learn from all the hate he’s receiving right now. Thanks for the visit and awesome comment, my friend. Have an incredible weekend! ❤ xo

      Liked by 1 person

  12. yvettemcalleiro November 8, 2019 at 5:49 pm #

    I secretly wish that her gynecologist has been in cahoots with his daughter for years to secretly lie to her father while she’s out there having the time of her life with whomever she wants. Lol! It would serve her father right! To me, this is just plain disgusting. That poor girl. I don’t know how many years she has had to suffer this humiliation, but it’s outrageous! And where is her mother in all of this?!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Vashti Q November 11, 2019 at 2:44 pm #

      Right? Good question. Where is her mother? As a woman and mother, she needed to have her daughters back all these years. Great comment! Thank you, Yvette! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Bette A. Stevens November 8, 2019 at 6:50 pm #

    Great poem highlighting a deplorable situation, Vashti. 🙂 Kudos!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. memadtwo November 9, 2019 at 12:52 am #

    The double standard is alive and well, and unfortunately shows little sign of going away. A good message. (K)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Vashti Q November 11, 2019 at 2:49 pm #

      Hi, Kerfe! I believe you’re right. It’s sad. Thank you! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  15. D.L. Finn, Author November 9, 2019 at 11:26 am #

    My mind kind of exploded when I read that. All I had left were questions. Why does the mother allow it? What doctor would do this? Why isn’t the son being held to the same standard if this is so important? And why isn’t important to him if she engages in other acts? Just when I think our country has made a bit of progress I hear things with this. I’m surprised she isn’t wearing a chasity belt. I intensely disliked this type of thinking and my mind still is exploding from hearing it. Thanks for bringing reason to this nonsense, Vashti. Have a great weekend. Xo

    Liked by 1 person

    • Vashti Q November 11, 2019 at 2:58 pm #

      Denise, you and I are on the same boat. No matter how much I try to make sense of this, it’s just ridiculous and upsetting. I feel sad for his daughter. You’re right, what kind of mother would allow this? When this girl gets a taste of freedom, she’s going to be like a bird out of its cage for the first time. Sad.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. kevin cooper November 9, 2019 at 1:10 pm #

    Good post.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Linda Mims November 9, 2019 at 5:53 pm #

    I agree, Vashti. It’s belittling and sad that T.I. doesn’t respect the 18 year-old woman that his daughter has become. No matter if he did this at 10, 12, 15, it was still an invasion of privacy—an atrocity that will scar her and their relationship forever.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Vashti Q November 11, 2019 at 3:08 pm #

      Hi, Linda! I’m hoping that the backlash he’s received from this will help him realize how wrong he’s been. If he apologizes to his daughter, admits he was wrong, and get her some therapy she would probably be okay. When I heard about this, my blood pressure went up a few notches. I thought we were past this buLL∑∆i+ in the US. It’s very disappointing.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Green Magick November 9, 2019 at 11:13 pm #

    Horrible!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Green Magick November 9, 2019 at 11:14 pm #

    But the poem is wonderful!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Natalie Ducey November 10, 2019 at 10:42 am #

    Oh my… this is such a violation of dignity and respect on so many levels. Your poem is a powerful and poignant message, Vashti! Thanks for sharing this with us.
    Wishing you a fabulous week ahead, my friend! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Vashti Q November 11, 2019 at 3:13 pm #

      Hi, Natalie! I agree. Yay! I’m happy you liked the poem. Thank you! You have a great new week too. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  21. Jacqui Murray November 10, 2019 at 11:01 am #

    I didn’t hear that podcast and am really glad I dropped by your blog today. I’ve started not buying stuff from idiots–this would qualify except I’ve never bought anything of his.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Vashti Q November 11, 2019 at 3:32 pm #

      Hi, Jacqui! I’m happy you stopped by, too. I’ve never bought anything by him either, but I have heard his music. I like some of it, but I’m done with him now. Thank you for the visit and comment. ❤

      Like

  22. Jan Sikes November 10, 2019 at 12:14 pm #

    Wow, Vashti! This blew my mind. And what that father is doing, in my opinion, is not only bullying but abuse. I cannot even imagine what else goes on in that household. I hope this young woman manages to break away and find herself! Love the poem! Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Vashti Q November 11, 2019 at 3:45 pm #

      Hello, Jan! I agree it is abusive. The sad part is that she may not realize how awful this is because he’s been doing it for so long. I think it will hit her later. I’m hoping that he’ll see the error of his ways, admit that he made a mistake, and ask for her forgiveness. I’m glad you enjoyed the Etheree! Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.

      Like

  23. Colleen M. Chesebro November 10, 2019 at 1:36 pm #

    Vashti! This father outraged me! How could he do this to his daughter? And, the message that the 15-year-old brother can have sex but the 18-year-old daughter? I think Jan’s right (comment above). This reeks of abuse! But you know what I really loved? That you took your outrage and turned it into a poem. Good for you. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Vashti Q November 11, 2019 at 3:53 pm #

      Hi, Colleen! I honestly don’t understand his way of thinking or how his wife could condone his actions. It is abusive. I don’t know where I’d be without my writing––poetry and prose. Thank you, Sis! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Marje @ Kyrosmagica November 10, 2019 at 3:55 pm #

    This is so weird, hard to believe that a father would do such a thing and that his eighteen year old daughter would agree to it. Backward and disgusting. Agree about the son too, double standards!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Vashti Q November 11, 2019 at 4:07 pm #

      Hi, Marje! I don’t think she’s had much of choice. She just turned 18, so she’s had to do whatever her father dictated––until now. I hope now that she’s 18 she’ll put her foot down. When I first heard of this, it made me sick. Every time I believe things for women have improved, I hear about something like this. I’m disgusted, and I feel so sorry for this girl. Thanks for stopping by and for your comment! 😀

      Like

  25. dgkaye November 10, 2019 at 5:37 pm #

    Yes Vashti, I did read about that and was repulsed!!!!!!!!!!! Seems half the world is going backwards instead of forward these days. At 18, I moved away from a toxic home, maybe she should do the same! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Vashti Q November 11, 2019 at 4:14 pm #

      I don’t understand what’s happening! You were very brave, Debby. Not everyone dares to leave home early, especially when daddy is paying for everything. And unfortunately, her mother seems to be in cahoots with the father. How twisted is that? Hopefully, he learns from the backlash he’s received and changes, or she gains the strength to leave. Thank you, my friend! ❤ xo

      Liked by 1 person

  26. D. Wallace Peach November 14, 2019 at 6:53 pm #

    What a despicable father. How gross and demoralizing. Ugh, Vashti. Some men are so paranoid about a woman’s power. They still have a lot of growing up to do. A powerful poem to put a cap on it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Vashti Q November 15, 2019 at 1:16 pm #

      Hi, Diana! I know. I feel the same way you do. He was probably a player when he was younger, and so is totally paranoid that some guy will play his daughter. Who knows what he’s thinking. It’s just disgusting.
      Thank you! I’m glad you liked the poem.

      Liked by 1 person

  27. markbierman November 19, 2019 at 5:11 am #

    Seriously, what the ****? What is wrong with this guy? The last time I checked, the Victorian Era was over. Kinda hard to build a meaningful relationship with your daughter when you subject her to such humiliation and double standard. Just a wee bit of a control freak, I’d say.

    Like

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