Tag Archives: brown eyes

I don’t want to say goodbye . . .

31 Mar

My father is in the hospital again. He had been doing better than expected for a while now, so I guess it made us forget how bad things really are. He came over my house on Sunday for Easter brunch and although he was walking and talking and seemed to be happy I noticed there was something off. He was pallid and he struggled more than usual to walk and he hardly ate.

He went downhill from there and at 3:00 am on Tuesday he was admitted to the hospital. He’s lethargic and unresponsive now. When I arrived at the hospital and spoke to him he tried to open his eyes and he managed to open them a little and he smiled but after that he wasn’t responding to the nurses or doctors that came by.

I’ve been in and out of the hospital since then, mostly in, which is why I didn’t do Writer’s Quote Wednesday and haven’t been online much at all. Sorry about that. My sister Cleo is in the hospital with him now and I’ll be leaving soon but I didn’t want to leave everyone hanging without an explanation. I’ll get myself together and get back to my routine as soon as I can but for now I’m going to see my dad. This is a very painful part in someone’s life and I’m barely hanging on.

My father has come close several times and recovered. He has a very strong will but this time it seems different.

Father-Poetry-the love of a father

My dad

Father

by Vashti Quiroz-Vega

His brown eyes deepened into polished onyx, and upon them came a mist of tears.

He watched with the facade of a brave man as his baby boy entered the world.

As if his mind and body were not consumed by overwhelming fears.

What are my duties? There are no guidelines. Where do I begin?

The babe in his arms felt so natural, yet so alien. A fire blazed in his chest.

“You are a father now.” The words were jolting, yet pleasing to his heart.

His brown eyes deepened into polished onyx, and upon them came a mist of tears.

He watched with the façade of a calm man as his son toddled, taking his first steps.

As if his mind and body were not consumed by overwhelming fears.

What if he falls? What if he hurts himself? I would fail as a father.

The toddler tottered to him and embraced him with dulcet giggles.

As he held his son, it did not feel alien. His heart gave way for love to conquer.

His brown eyes deepened into polished onyx, and upon them came a mist of tears.

He watched with the façade of a cool man as his son introduced him to his first girl.

As if his mind and body were not consumed by overwhelming fears.

What if he falls in love? What if she breaks his heart?

He embraced his son and slipped extra cash in his pocket.

As he held him, it felt like love, and he rested assured his son was smart.

His brown eyes deepened into polished onyx, and upon them came a mist of tears.

He watched with the façade of a brave man as his son grew and had sons of his own.

As if his mind and body were not consumed by overwhelming fears.

Did I raise him right? Did I teach him to be a good husband and father?

He embraced his son, and they were swathed by the love they both felt.

As he held his son, his questions were answered, and he grew calmer.

His son’s brown eyes deepened into polished onyx, and upon them came a mist of tears.

He watched his father wear the façade of a spent man as he lay on a hospital bed.

His son’s mind and body were consumed by overwhelming fears.

Am I doing the right thing? Who am I to decide when his time has come?

His face dampened with sorrow as he embraced his father.

As he held his father’s weary body and gazed into his dimming eyes, his questions were answered, and he grew calmer.

His brown eyes deepen into polished onyx, and upon them comes a mist of tears.

He watches with the façade of a pitiful man as his son reaches for that button.

He is ready to leave this world and grateful his son has let go of his fears.

As his son holds his ruined body, and he feels the lifeblood drain from his eyes, he knows he has raised him right.

His mind and body are consumed with overwhelming love.

His son has given him the gift of peace, and his happy spirit travels toward the light.

Copyright © 2014 by Vashti Quiroz-Vega. All rights reserved.