The Train Ride From Hell – PART 1

21 Feb

The Train Ride From Hell

Hello everyone! Today I’ve posted PART 1 of my short Horror Series:

The Train Ride From Hell.

The inspiration for this story comes from an account I read on my friend Ashwin Kumar’s Blog (My World… My Words) about a terrible train ride he had taken not long ago–Sunrise Shots From Train. I hope you enjoy it. Let me know your thoughts.

WARNING: Do Not Attempt To Read This Series At Night!


The Train Ride From Hell – PART 1

The piercing note of a horn woke me. I sat upright in my seat, then started when I heard the roar of an engine. I checked my surroundings. My pulse raced as I realized I was aboard a train. I shook my head trying to shake away the fog in my brain. Why am I on this train? Where am I going? I sprung to my feet and searched for a sign or map––anything that would indicate where I was. I saw nothing. There were no advertising billboards or maps, no neon signs telling me what the next stop would be.


I looked out of the grimy window nearest me. Smoke. Maybe fog? I could hardly see anything at all. I noticed the train’s walls. This train was not like the ones I’ve taken many times. The walls on this train were black like wrought iron, covered with a slimy film. Ugh! I looked at my seat. I screamed and recoiled. The seat was covered in grime, and there were roaches crawling all over it!


I stared at the people quietly sitting in their seats. My stomach churned painfully. The walls of the train seemed to shift up and down. I became dizzy and nauseated as I witnessed cockroaches crawling over some passengers’ laps, chests and even heads! Rats fiddled around their feet. Certain areas of the train’s floor moved. No––there were hundreds of slimy worms wriggling about. I retched repeatedly. I couldn’t understand why these people remained calm in their seats while insects and vermin crawled all over them. Who were these people? Where was this train going? How did I get here?


I scuttled down the aisle glancing at the different faces. Some were in a trance––they seemed to be in some sort of stupor. A large worm slithered halfway into a man’s ear while he sat motionless and stared ahead, his eyes glazed. With unsteady hands I pulled the worm out of his ear, slammed it on the ground and stomped on it. The man turned his head and smiled at me. It was not a grateful smile. The smile was evil and grotesque. Right before my eyes, his face shifted into a demonic form, then back to that of a man. Disconcerted, I tottered away.


There was a whirling sensation in my head and my breathing became shallow. I saw a woman with cockroaches crawling in and out of her hat. I pulled the hat off her head and threw it to the ground. Dozens of roaches spilled out and crawled all over her face. Her head whisked in my direction and she cackled as insects crawled into her mouth! I was overcome with feelings of queasiness. My heart was pounding loudly in my ears. My eyes jumped from passenger to passenger. Suddenly, they all stared at me at once, some grinning, others laughing, and yet others sobbing. Some faces flickered from human faces to that of demons. I clutched my hair and screamed again and again. I ran up and down the aisle. I couldn’t find a way out. Besides, the train was moving at an alarming speed. I couldn’t escape.


“Where am I?” I sobbed into my hands.


“You’re on a train,” a young voice responded.


“I know I’m on a train, but where am I . . . ” My voice trailed off when I saw her. She was a girl––no more than sixteen. She appeared almost angelic. There were no bugs crawling over her pretty face. She looked as out of place here as I did.


“Do you know where this train is going?” I stared still in disbelief.


“I’m not sure, but I have an idea.” She had an agonized expression. I continued to look at her for a while. She was definitely not like some of the others.


“Do you know how you got aboard this train? Because I have no idea how I got here!” My body trembled. She looked at me askance.


“Take your seats the train will make its first stop shortly!” A conductor showed up out of nowhere. I ran to him.


“How did I get on this train? Did you see when and how I got on? Someone must have brought me onboard. Do you know whom? Where is this train stopping?” The conductor only stared at me with a look of revulsion on his face.


“Sit.  Down.  You will see soon enough. You won’t be getting off here.” He laughed. He had a malevolent, doom-laden laugh that sent chills up and down my spine. I glanced at the girl; her face was pale––her eyes wide. When I turned to speak to the conductor again, he was gone. Having no choice, I sat by the girl’s side. Her hands trembled and she gazed at me with doleful eyes. I sobbed quietly.


The train was about to stop. I heard the squeal of steel wheels on steel rail. I tried to look out the window, but the glass was too dirty, and a thick wall of fog blocked my view. I glanced behind us. There was a gap between our row of seats and the row behind us. That’s usually where doors would be located, but there were no doors.


The train stopped with a jolt. The black, slimy wall between the two rows began to open. A round opening appeared, growing larger as if a flame were eating away at it. Passengers began to get out of their seats and file out of the train. I was not sure I wanted to go anywhere these people went, but I was compelled to see what was out there. I stood. The young girl gasped and held onto my arm.


“Don’t!” Her eyes were large with fear.


“I need to see.” I wrested my arm from her hold.


I rushed to the round opening and stared out. There was a sign right outside the train on the platform that read Limbo



SAD – Illustration by Sebastian Ruhs

Be sure to read PART 2

30 Responses to “The Train Ride From Hell – PART 1”

  1. Harliqueen February 21, 2014 at 10:40 am #

    I can see why I wouldn’t want to read it at night! Great read though, very well written 🙂


    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega February 21, 2014 at 6:07 pm #

      Thank you very much that’s the best compliment you can give any writer! Have a great weekend and come back on Tuesday for part two. 😉


  2. jorobinson176 February 21, 2014 at 10:43 am #

    Ack, ack, SCARY! Love it Vashti! I’ll read part two in the daylight I think. 😀


    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega February 21, 2014 at 6:03 pm #

      Hi Jo! Ha, ha! Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it. You can’t say I didn’t warn you. 😉 I’ll be posting part 2 on Tuesday. 😀


  3. Teagan Kearney February 21, 2014 at 4:22 pm #

    Really enjoyed this, Vashti – though I couldn’t help a lot of ‘yucks’ escaping – cockroaches are still pretty much top of the wiggly wavy antennaed creatures that make me feel ill (I remember hand sized ones crawling up and down the walls of a shower in Calcutta once upon a time) – good tension building – great pace and believable; she’s not going to Limbo, which means….aagghh! Can’t wait for part 2!


    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega February 21, 2014 at 6:01 pm #

      Ha, ha! Believe me I was gagging as I wrote some of these scenes. The parts with the roaches, rats and worms merited a few ‘yucks!’ I have a phobia of roaches too. I guess this is a good way to face my fears (in a way). Thank you so much for reading. Part 2 will be up on Tuesday. 😀


  4. ratnibbles February 21, 2014 at 11:34 pm #

    Very descriptive n a wonderful read.. waiting for the next installment 🙂


    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega February 22, 2014 at 12:47 pm #

      Awesome! Thanks for reading. I will post part two on Tuesday. Have a great weekend! 😀


  5. Ashwin February 22, 2014 at 12:52 pm #

    Wow! I never knew that my post could trigger you to write a short series.. Interesting! Keep going, Vashti. Waiting for Part 2


    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega February 23, 2014 at 11:34 am #

      Ha,ha! When you described your horrible train ride experience it automatically triggered a horror story in my mind. 😉 Thanks for the inspiration Ashwin! I’m glad you enjoyed it. 😀


  6. Yolanda Isabel Regueira Marin February 22, 2014 at 6:37 pm #

    ‘Limbo’ first stop. Good work can’t wait to see what station is next?


    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega February 23, 2014 at 11:48 am #

      Choo-choo! Next stop…find out on Tuesday. 😉 Ha,ha! Thank you Yolanda!


  7. norton atkinson February 23, 2014 at 10:35 am #

    I love it so far, plz hurry and send the rest!


    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega February 23, 2014 at 11:50 am #

      Hi Norton! I’m so glad you love it! Part 2 will be posted on Tuesday and Part 3 on Thursday. Thank you for stopping by and reading. 😀


  8. lisa February 23, 2014 at 11:06 am #

    OK honestly I wasn’t scared or grossed out. Very descriptive but didn’t draw me in to continue reading again.


    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega February 23, 2014 at 11:56 am #

      Sorry to hear that Lisa. Oh well, if there’s one thing I’ve learned as a writer is that you can’t please everyone. Stay tuned and maybe part two will draw you in, or don’t. It’s up to you of course. Maybe you’ll find my next story more agreeable. Happy Sunday!


  9. Doreen Sargente February 24, 2014 at 12:32 am #

    As always, well written and descriptive Vashti! It’s 12:30 and I’m about to go to bed…or maybe not 😉


  10. .MIS. Manhattan Image & Style February 24, 2014 at 4:57 pm #

    Oh, looking forward to part 2 love!

    New Blog Post: [My Outfit] A Pink Monday


    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega February 24, 2014 at 7:46 pm #

      Hi Diana! I’m glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for stopping by I’m posting part 2 tomorrow. 😉


  11. JESS44903 February 24, 2014 at 11:39 pm #

    Your writing is always so detailed!

    Thanks for joining the Link Up this week!


  12. Brittnei Washington February 25, 2014 at 10:52 pm #

    You’re right! People shouldn’t read it at night! You write so well, Vashti! Thanks for sharing with us at Countdown in Style! Don’t forget to stop by Friday to see if you are featured. 🙂


    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega February 26, 2014 at 12:47 am #

      Hi Brittnei! Thank you so much! It was my pleasure sharing with you guys!


  13. Natasha @ Epic Mommy Adventures February 26, 2014 at 10:09 am #

    Vashti, how do you do it? Love it, love, love it! Such a great story – I will keep this short because I have to go read Part 2, but this was an awesome story. You are so inspiring! I love suspense, horror, and thriller and this story fits all of them. I can’t wait to read Part 2.

    Thanks so much for sharing on Turn It Up Tuesday! We love having you! 🙂


  14. Vashti Quiroz-Vega February 26, 2014 at 11:24 am #

    Hi Natasha! It’s a joy writing these stories when there are people like you that show such enthusiasm for reading them. Thank YOU for inspiring me and making what I love to do even more fun. 😀 xx


  15. Michelle Stanley February 27, 2014 at 2:52 pm #

    Now I know why you warned that this story should only be read at daytime, although I like the squeamy, scary feelings I get when reading a horror at nights. You are a very talented writer. The story is very intriguing and gives me the right amount of creepy images from its well written description. I will soon get to the next chapter. Just keep them coming.


    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega February 27, 2014 at 6:50 pm #

      Hello Michelle! I love those scary feeling too! Some people–not so much. 😦 Ha,ha! Thank you very much for the kind words and I will definitely keep ’em coming. 😀


  16. April (@100LBC) February 27, 2014 at 10:49 pm #

    I was about to delve in, but you said not to do it at night, and it’s after 10. I would love to sleep tonight, so I’ll be back tomorrow to read it in the daylight! 🙂 Thanks for linking up with Countdown in Style.


    • Vashti Quiroz-Vega February 28, 2014 at 1:26 pm #

      Ha,ha! That’s hilarious April! I’ll look for ward to your comment. I hope you had a good night and sweet dreams. 😀


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